I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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