if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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