hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
