Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
