That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
