You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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