So drunk, too bad you don't want this
babies were throwing up all over the place
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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