sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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