I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
