ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
