we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
