My underwear smells like fireworks.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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