Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
