I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
