In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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