i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
high people should be assigned attendants
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
