How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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