are you still at the devil's house?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
