So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
