There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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