FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
