Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
