Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
only if we run a train.
done.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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