This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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