they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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