Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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