Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize