no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
