So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize