guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
