you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i now understand why vodka
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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