Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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