I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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