He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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