so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
