Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
