well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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