What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
