You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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