eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I supernannyed him into submission
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize