Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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