im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
and you fell through a lawn chair
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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