I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
