i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
