that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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