his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
