JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
