i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
