Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
