some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
