Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize