I'd wear matching sweaters with you
kristin has been a bad kristin
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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