you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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