haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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