Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
