I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
