I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
