end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
