I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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