Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
