He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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