And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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