Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
