I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
