Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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