Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
a search helicopter?!
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
