I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize